Fake people & Life Goals for the Year of 2013

Even though i have a lot of people in my life that i think are my friends they really are not. I just recently had a close college friend delete me from facebook, because of a comment. I have had a friend at work ignore me, because of her stupidity. Simply because she thinks that i try to hard for people to like me, which is not true. I have friends not invite me places, because they really are not my friends. What does this prove? I still do not know. One thing is for sure Jessica ahi espinoza is my ultimate bestfriend which is my sister from anther mother. other people come and go and well she has been there for me through thick and thin.

I have recently had gone to a fortune teller. Which had told me that everything in my life will change that i will be living somewhere else and be with the person that i love and have two children. Which i hopefully believe is true. I have not had great sex for about two years and i just recently had sex with a good friend and damn that was the best sex. damn i wish i could have sex with him every day. We woke up after i slept so good, and had great morning sex. I tried getting over the love of my life michael anthony ramirez, with eulises gonzales. After I had offered him everything I could (like a free living status with the exchange of his company and him helping me to get mentally and physically ready for the army) he refused in so many levels. After I had said my goodbyes to the man I was falling for, he just showed me he never even cared. How he never even gave me a change to even see me. Eulises just let me go just like that, I really meant nothing to him at all. Damn, when I read his e-mail i cried myself to sleep for 1 week.

"Im sorry but the attention you want from me I just cannot give you right now I'm completely focuse on me and you are a great person and have been great friend and deserve someone ten times better then me that makes you happy and you will that I can promise you and with some of the help you've offered me only a fool would be acting like I did and for that I apologize I'm just messed up in the head........I told you I'm a bad person and this is why good things will come your way and bad will continue for me take care ma"

***If i were still talking to him, My rebuttal would be: "Eulises, you should not make promises you yourself are not able to keep 'I will find someone better than you'. Eulises all I wanted was a chance to meet you,but you have done everything in your power to push me away. I love you Eulises I love you I love you I love you. And You have broken my heart i love you end of story."

This year for the year of 2013 instead of a New Years resolution I have decided to make a

"13 things to do for the year 2013"

1) Join the Army
2) Kiss under the Mistletoe
3) Go on a road trip
4) Volunteer at an Orphanage
5) Have Great Birthday SEX
6) Get a New Year's Eve kiss (either 2013 or 2014)
7) Skydive
8) buggy jump
9) Remove my acne Scars
10) Play Bingo
11) Continue Writing my novels
12) Get a writing job
13) Learn a new language (German, Italian, & or French )

****All of these things are possible. ****

I recently have been hired to work for the state and have made a wonderful friend Judy. Judy has given me so much guidance and encouragement with my life decisions. I appreciate having her in my life.

My good friend Felipe, has told me that I have changed from when we knew each other in high school. He had described me as a very gullible, an innocent person. Which i concur on that notion. But, even though I have changed my personality has stayed the same: lovable, nice, faithful, and loyal. Felipe is such a good guy. From what he describe himself when we were in high school he used to be such a jerk. To me he is soo nice. I think before we ended up having sex he was crying. I didn't like that. I didn't want to point out if he was crying, because i just wanted to be there for him, listen to his thoughts.

I also started Graduate School (MA in English Literature). It is going so swell. But, it is taking a toll on me as well. Speaking about Graduate school I need to get back to my paper of "The Discourse of Fairy Tales: Cinderella, Snow White, & Sleeping beauty"

Until then my blogging friends bye ofr4rmsa