plentyoffish.com

Well it is for sure...
He does not want anything with me, he is on a website, to get a date to find someone ... So that defenetly means that he will never see me as a potential relationship. So How do you just turn the switch off that is more than just friends to just friends?
I can't stop just thinking about him, I can't stop talking to him.

Gosh I dislike People that think this way

I have a very very close relationship with my family;especially with my little cousins. I have a specific uncle that always makes me feel unworthy of anything. He always belittles me in any way. I am almost done with school and I am looking for a job and I ask for his advise. Assuming that he has changed, due to the fact that I have not been around that much because of him(he does not know it). He advises me to apply at wal-mart , or landscaping... Seriously I gave him a weird look. I said "why would I apply there ?" he said," you need experience you have none. ", I said " I do have experience I have worked at a library for four and a half years and I have interned at the DA's as well as a law firm, now a substitute teacher. I have experience enough to get me started". He somewhat laughed with his stupid smirky smile and said the following lines "those little jobs do not count that is not experience." I just rolled my eyes (inside not literally), and said ok....

He also told me that "graduate school is not for everyone, what you need to do is GET a JOB"

one time I was trying to have a stimulating conversation with him, about chaucer, he flat out told me "wow you read that kind of literature I did not know that you did"... I told him " I am an English Major"... The subject was then DROPED...

I hate that he treats me as if I will never achieve anything in life. I want nothing to do with him. I hate how he belittles my aunt as well... He is a hypocritical man that does not help others and he calls himself a christian....

Realize

March 13th was my best guy friend's birthday. I did everything that I could do to make him feel special. He  had mentioned to me that he felt bad, that none of his so called friends in facebook had even noticed that it was his birthday. I was pissed that these two specific girls did not mention it at all they have known him longer that I have so that really made me mad. So I e-mailed these two supposedly close friends to say something to him because it was his birthday, and I had specifically told them not to tell him that I had contacted them. I recently checked facebook and all i got from him was a thanks, the other two got specifics like thank you :), and the other one got a thank you (name).... The e-mail I sent him was just a thanks as well and the text too. He never really shows appreciation on anything, except just push me away. Seriously, I do not feel like talking to him. I was once told to ignore him, as a ploy to intrigue him into me. I do not play games, I just do not feel like talking to him. He wants me to do be with any guy. I told him that I was with my best girl friend and her boyfriend and his cousin. I told him about that night and he told me that It sounded that I had a good time. Which I did, that guy was so stupid he made me laugh , and that not a "aww stupid cute " I mean he we literally stupid. His comments like why don't I take birth-control? He is a ginepig for a living. He is 32 , not stable does drugs... and is weird and loves techno music. What I tried telling my best guy friend that , I do not just want any guy, I know what I want. He simply told me that it seems to him that I am finding any excuse to not talk or be with any guy. I had reassured him that I am not waiting on him. If he thinks that I am waiting for him to make a move and stop looking the other way to see what we could be I am not. I told him " If you think that I expect anymore from our friendship then you are wrong." I do what I do, things will settle when they are supposed to. Get out... Get out .... More than friends , right I have enough friends, I do not need anymore friends. I know what I want.... He keeps telling me that I need to find a guy that will respect me, care about me, be there for me. My question is why is he so insistent that that guy shows up. I am the one that was there for him. Why can't he just see that and give me a little bit of credit. I mention to him that I appreciate , and not one time does he tell me , not once in our friendship has he ever said anything on how he was happy that I was there for him...

Why can he show just show..

Last night I had a dream that he told me that he will not be able to talk to be , because he will be 16,000 miles away from me. He was telling me that he wants to talk to me , but his words in my dreams were different , I knew what he was trying to tell me. Even though he did not tell me directly he was telling me. "Then we will talk, but I will be far I will be over 16,000 miles away, until Thursday ok" I could see him in my dream talking on the other line of the phone. His facial expressions were priceless as well as wordless. Today I actually looked up how far Afghanistan was and it was only about 8,000 miles from San Antonio Texas... The other 8,000 probably came from the heart on how far we were from each other. We will never be on the same page when it comes to our feelings. Denial or not, I will not wait for him. I am open for someone... Just knock on my door ok... just do it....

But one question is why am i dreaming about him?