Realize

March 13th was my best guy friend's birthday. I did everything that I could do to make him feel special. He  had mentioned to me that he felt bad, that none of his so called friends in facebook had even noticed that it was his birthday. I was pissed that these two specific girls did not mention it at all they have known him longer that I have so that really made me mad. So I e-mailed these two supposedly close friends to say something to him because it was his birthday, and I had specifically told them not to tell him that I had contacted them. I recently checked facebook and all i got from him was a thanks, the other two got specifics like thank you :), and the other one got a thank you (name).... The e-mail I sent him was just a thanks as well and the text too. He never really shows appreciation on anything, except just push me away. Seriously, I do not feel like talking to him. I was once told to ignore him, as a ploy to intrigue him into me. I do not play games, I just do not feel like talking to him. He wants me to do be with any guy. I told him that I was with my best girl friend and her boyfriend and his cousin. I told him about that night and he told me that It sounded that I had a good time. Which I did, that guy was so stupid he made me laugh , and that not a "aww stupid cute " I mean he we literally stupid. His comments like why don't I take birth-control? He is a ginepig for a living. He is 32 , not stable does drugs... and is weird and loves techno music. What I tried telling my best guy friend that , I do not just want any guy, I know what I want. He simply told me that it seems to him that I am finding any excuse to not talk or be with any guy. I had reassured him that I am not waiting on him. If he thinks that I am waiting for him to make a move and stop looking the other way to see what we could be I am not. I told him " If you think that I expect anymore from our friendship then you are wrong." I do what I do, things will settle when they are supposed to. Get out... Get out .... More than friends , right I have enough friends, I do not need anymore friends. I know what I want.... He keeps telling me that I need to find a guy that will respect me, care about me, be there for me. My question is why is he so insistent that that guy shows up. I am the one that was there for him. Why can't he just see that and give me a little bit of credit. I mention to him that I appreciate , and not one time does he tell me , not once in our friendship has he ever said anything on how he was happy that I was there for him...

Why can he show just show..

Last night I had a dream that he told me that he will not be able to talk to be , because he will be 16,000 miles away from me. He was telling me that he wants to talk to me , but his words in my dreams were different , I knew what he was trying to tell me. Even though he did not tell me directly he was telling me. "Then we will talk, but I will be far I will be over 16,000 miles away, until Thursday ok" I could see him in my dream talking on the other line of the phone. His facial expressions were priceless as well as wordless. Today I actually looked up how far Afghanistan was and it was only about 8,000 miles from San Antonio Texas... The other 8,000 probably came from the heart on how far we were from each other. We will never be on the same page when it comes to our feelings. Denial or not, I will not wait for him. I am open for someone... Just knock on my door ok... just do it....

But one question is why am i dreaming about him?